music is the heartbeat of my soul

Compositions

8.26.2004

do you believe in god? i do...but i hate him. i loathe him. i despise him. i know that he is the 'almighty' as they say, the one who created us all.. but what's the point? who knows, maybe we are all just part of his experiment. an experiment which he created so that he will know where he, himself, originated?! the bible told us that when god finished creating the world, he said that it was good...maybe up to now he still thinks it is still good. why? because he only watches us from a distance...he only sees what he wants to see. he shuts his eyes and refuses to listen to poverty, injustice, greed, loneliness and oppression...but he is aware that these things exist. he never experienced these things...well, maybe he did, at some point in time when he went down here as the son of man. but it's still not enough, because as my beloved memnoch said, he is in human form but he is still aware that he is god, therefore he doesn't really feel REAL pain that normal people do. it is true that the son of man died in a horrible way, but what's the point? to prove that he knows our suffering? did he think that it was enough? during those times many die on the cross every single day, what made him so special? ...back to his creation of the world, why does suffering outweigh the beauty? i am forever grateful for all his blessings but...i cannot simply disregard the pain, the suffering... if he is all-loving, then why does he forbid us to leave this earth? he should be sensitive enough to even apologize for making us stay here.

Composed @ 4:30 PM

Comments:

ah... the cry of one in the depths of her sorrow~ one who turns to God and cry out. i know that all too well... or perhaps it is my acceptance of what is there and what isn't. i do not loathe him... or despise him... nor do i seek to hurt him. i am simply agnostic. i believe~ and nothing more.

# posted by

Unknown : 8:58 PM

So much for "GOD-in-the-Christian-context", huh? Let's be real and see God as the "Universal OP"...never treating him the way devoted Christians do...

# posted by

Aph : 7:23 PM

i believe that god didn't create man... man created god... because people needed something much stronger to hold on to... something much stronger than reason, which is faith... ala lang... yey! nakakapost nako ng comment!!!! ala lang... :D

# posted by

trix.trancer : 8:21 PM

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# posted by

Anonymous : 10:15 PM

at first i couldn't believe that you wrote that piece.. it was too good and i say this as a compliment.okay.. God?god?suit yourself..i'm not so sure about him..i don't go to mass but it doesn't make me satanic does it?definitely no logic..i'm no devoted christian,neither a satanist,neither an atheist..i just doubt the belief so much..do people look upon him so that they may find strength and comfort?makes me wonder if it's cowardice..sorry sa mga iba dyan..nagtataka lang ako. right now,i believe the most conseqential intangible possession would be faith..hope's another thing..sige..haba na.-pitch black

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:34 PM

# posted by

Anonymous : 6:37 PM

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AnNe

anne rice novels, sandman and the endless, fight club and tyler's philosophies, vampires, myths, witchcraft, churches, graveyards, baywalk, egypt and other ancient civilizations, photography, existentialism, abstract art, insomnia, aliens, lestat, vainglorious people, paranoia, conversations, sleepless nights, music, red horse, sleepovers, walkathon, gigs, stars, city lights, casper, dreams, emo tripping, misadventures, music, pinoy bands, singing, writing, rainy days, meeting strange people, foreign languages, depression, sunsets, life and death, atlantis, adolf hitler, full moon, insanity and schizophrenia, zombies, loners and posers like me, nostalgia, classic and silent movies, soul-searching, laugh trip, sound trip, food trip, humanity, my blog, god.

DREAMS

i am a materialistic person so my dreams involve material things:

sandman library

complete set of vampire chronicles

more books!

cds! cds! cds!

complete set of naruto series :p

ps2 games!
aside from material things..

i want to live in baguio

i want to earn money for myself

i want to help our country. haha.

i want to travel around the world
that's it for now! ciao!