music is the heartbeat of my soul

Compositions

1.24.2005

i am shattered. and it is your laughter that killed me. i knew it. i shouldn't have revealed myself. i shouldn't have removed my mask. now what? i am dying of shame. you murdered me once again. i hate the sound of your laughter. it's driving me mad. aside from the fact that i AM already mad. it is intolerable. what a huge mistake. [and the background song is rivermaya's himala. how depressing. how beautiful.] anyway. i am sad. and i love the feeling. however, it is becoming unbearable. i am sinking in the ground. i am being forced inside my grave. someone pull me out. it's suffocating...WAIT~! it's actually better here. in the dark. in my grave. alone. no one can see me. no one can laugh at me. i am free. i am myself. so it all comes to this... death? ah! how many times have i met you sweet death? and yet i am frightened by your presence...but now i realized, you actually bring the greatest gift. freedom.

just when i thought i was ready to face the world...it mocked me. it laughed at me. it turned it's back and left me alone. fuck humanity! i deserve better than this. i'd rather bury myself rather than be considered as one of your species. how embarassing it is to be human.

Composed @ 10:44 PM

Comments:

~~~Sorrow is such a heavy word.

~~~Being human is still bearable.... well at least, you get to have an excuse for being stupid and absurd! Mwahahaha!

>>> it's aphro

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:08 PM

manic depression it seems is a common friend of ours. :) It helps to write as an outlet.
I'm about to bare myself to someone as well. Should I risk ridicule and be brave (and as all brave humans go, meet early death?) or be chicken and just stay mum and act noncholant and uncaring when in fact the otherwise is true...hmm...
chin up.
what you did took guts.
you give people like us hope. ehehehe. :)
shameless advertising : digthedalailama.blogspot.com

# posted by

The Sporadic Curmudgeon : 5:57 PM

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AnNe

anne rice novels, sandman and the endless, fight club and tyler's philosophies, vampires, myths, witchcraft, churches, graveyards, baywalk, egypt and other ancient civilizations, photography, existentialism, abstract art, insomnia, aliens, lestat, vainglorious people, paranoia, conversations, sleepless nights, music, red horse, sleepovers, walkathon, gigs, stars, city lights, casper, dreams, emo tripping, misadventures, music, pinoy bands, singing, writing, rainy days, meeting strange people, foreign languages, depression, sunsets, life and death, atlantis, adolf hitler, full moon, insanity and schizophrenia, zombies, loners and posers like me, nostalgia, classic and silent movies, soul-searching, laugh trip, sound trip, food trip, humanity, my blog, god.

DREAMS

i am a materialistic person so my dreams involve material things:

sandman library

complete set of vampire chronicles

more books!

cds! cds! cds!

complete set of naruto series :p

ps2 games!
aside from material things..

i want to live in baguio

i want to earn money for myself

i want to help our country. haha.

i want to travel around the world
that's it for now! ciao!