Compositions

2.21.2005

wow. i thought i would never pass this realm again, yet here i am drowning in despair and emptiness. i have finally decided to let go of my so-called masks. i do not care anymore. squeeze me, crush me, break me. do what you've always done to me. it won't matter anymore. you can't hurt me now. i won't let you. fuck you. you've caused too much damage. you've caused too much pain...haha. what never fails to amaze me is what it is you see when i take off my masks? what is it that makes you laugh at me...or curse me? do i represent your imperfections? or maybe i reflect everything you hate about yourselves? well i'm sorry. i never thought it was a crime to be born. believe me i never wished for this life. and i want it to end as much as you do.
the best option i have found to stop the pain is to pretend that i am a deaf-mute. in that way, i won't hear your maddenning laughter and you won't hear my pathetic cries. i will detach myself from his world. ..ha! as if it will make any significant difference.
in the end, i wanted to thank you for digging my grave....i''m so fucked up and ready to die. do me a favor will you? shoot me in the head and paint the wall with my brains.

Composed @ 8:33 PM

Comments:
thank you! you've finally given me the reason why "adults" look so happy all the time! they seem to have no problems to themselves. i finally know why! their masks, they will never take it off. they will refuse to do it for the rest of their days. that's why they seem so happy everytime i see them. they will forever pretend to co-exist in perfect harmony. they will never learn to think outside of the universe and into their own... thanks for giving me the idea!
 
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