we cry when something is sad. then we shed a tear when something's beautiful as well. perhaps we are sad when something is beautiful because we know that it won't last forever...no matter how hard we try to deny it, nothing is really absolute...everything is fleeting. we might have the ability to see beauty everywhere but we know that none of it will last. it's tragic, isn't it? no matter how perfect, wonderful, magnificent, beautiful something is...we are aware that it will soon fade...why am i writing about something like this? because i just realized my own mortality...i hated this idea, but i will soon die and so will every single creature in this planet. flowers bloom and flowers die. civilizations rise and civilizations fall. battles are won and battles are lost. we may be here now...but we can never be sure if we will still be here tomorrow. what then is the point of our very existence when we are already aware that it won't last forever?
[some people believe that you cannot fully grasp the meaning of life until you've felt death's cold hand...or you can't truly appreciate peace until you've suffered the cruelty of war...or you can't truly appreciate and treasure beauty until you've seen its opposite...well, i believed some of those things except for appreciating beauty. i don't think that beauty really has an opposite..because, according to aphro: "we see beauty where we desire to see it, and we see ugliness where we are afraid to see beauty"]
ayan...haaay. pansin ko lang, halos lahat ng tao may kanya-kanyang wishlist na para sa pasko. [as if matutupad. hehe!] well, gagawa na din ako...para makita niyong lahat kung gaano ako ka-materalistic...bwahaha! eto na: UNA sa lahat, gusto ko yung celphone ni sheene! oo, yung E398! tsk tsk. mag-ingat ka sheene baka mawala yang telepono mo! bwahahaha! PANGALAWA, tulad na nakararami, gusto ko din ng iPOD or yung mp3 player ng samsung [parang ung gusto ni chuva. hehe!] masaya un! hindi ko na kelangan bitbitin ung malaki kong discman na sira ung earphones. [hulaan niyo kung sino nakasira! (--,) ] PANGATLO, gusto ko na mabili ung cd ng rivermaya, ung kasama slapshock. pati ung cd ng greyhoundz na may your puppet and clown. pati ung soundtrack ng queen of the damned! maawa kayo! PANG-APAT gusto ko ng vhs player...bwahahaha! seryoso ito. kasi naman gusto kong panoorin ung mga mtv na ginawa namin last year! hehe. kinalas ko kasi ung vhs player namin tapos hindi ko na maibalik. PANGLIMA gusto ko ung "UNSCRIPTED" na libro ng wwe! hehe. ang mahal e, dalawang libo! [mahaba-haba pa itong listahan ko... :)) ] PANG-ANIM gusto ko na makumpleto ung vampire chronicles ni anne rice! nakakainis! wala akong mahiraman eh! PAMPITO gusto ko ng stuff toy na teddy...teddy as in yung kay mr. bean! may nakita kami sa gift factory! nasa limang daan ata ung malaki...hehe. bili niyo ko! PANG-WALO gusto ko ung bag na nightmare before christmas...dun ko nakita sa isang tindahan nung family day eh. ampota yan! pitong daan! tapos walang imitation sa divisoria o kaya sa greenhills!? bwahaha! kaya kung may ginintuan kayong kalooban, regaluhan niyo ko! PANG-SIYAM gusto kong pumunta ng EK kasama mga kabarkada ko...ang problema yung pambayad sa ticket! bwahaha! kaya libre niyo kami para masaya tayong lahat! PANGSAMPU kailangan ko ng sampung libo! bwahahaha! pambayad ng spongecola! bwahaha! desperado kami ni chuva na i-hire sila! waaah! maawa kayo! gusto ko makita si armo in person! :)) ...ayan, as of now yan pa LANG ung mga naiisip kong ilagay sa wishlist ko...di bale, madagdagan pa yan. ngayon nakita niyo na kung gaano ako ka-materialistic at ka-selfish! well...hindi naman sobrang selfish...kahit papano sinama ko naman mga kabarkada ko...may iba ring makikinabang sa mga yan kung sakali mang matupad. kung isa kayo sa mga taong lubos na pinagpala at tipong nalulunod sa kayamanan...hindi naman sigurong masamang ipamahagi ang inyong swerte sa mga taong katulad ko. hehe. tulungan niyo kong makuha lahat ng nasa wishlist na yan...samahan niyo kong mang hold-up ng bangko! bwahahaha! ayos! :))
Because when one has found an angel,
Its hard to walk amongst mankind
Because when one has felt so happy,
Its anguish to recede to depressed times
Because I've sniffed the sweetest scent,
Its hard to be near such acrid smells
Because I've tasted heaven,
Its hard to go back to Hell
After hearing the most beautiful sound,
It breaks my ears to hear common voices
After being oh so confident,
Its painful to be unsure of choices
After seeing such beauty,
I hate such ugliness
After growing old in merely hours,
Its so hard to regress
After being in one place so long,
Its hard to leave in haste
After drinking from the cup of love,
Its hard to stomach mortal tastes
Because when one has felt the kindest slumber,
Its torture just to stay awake
When one has earned such boundless riches,
Its hard to put it all at stake
When such things are to be damned forever,
Its easy to look the devil in the eye
Because when I've been on the highest cloud,
It's easy to fall and die
Because I've finally healed my wounds,
It hurts to see my scars
Because for three days, I tasted beauty
And now I'm envious of tar
The perfect drug, stained into my eyes,
Without it, my view is blurred and mixed
I just traded in my innocence for pleasure,
And in the flames, I'll get my fix.
